How to Stay Connected with Grandchildren During a Pandemic

It started to dawn on most of us who understand data and science a few weeks into this pandemic, that we are going to be in this new reality for the long haul. In a time of such uncertainty, the certainty of this fact can be overwhelming. “Moments of Overwhelm,” I call them.

“When will I see my kids and grandkids again?” “When can we hug?” “What can we possibly do to connect and maybe give mom and dad a little break now and then?”

Our kids are iPhone people but we are Androids, so Facetime wasn’t an option. Of course, Skype, Zoom, or Team Meetings are available. We used to Skype with grandkids, but it always seemed clunky. I’ve also arranged a couple of Zoom family times including the first-ever Clark Family Mask Competition/Fashion Show. The invitation came with a selfie of me wearing a folded bra as a mask based on an idea from another patent attorney, but I digress. Surprisingly, all four kids and spouses and grandkids still joined the meeting.

But for grandkids who are often on the move, the idea of the camera panning and zooming on its own was intriguing.

Enter Facebook Portal Mini. To be clear, I am not a fan of Facebook. I backed away for a long while due to privacy concerns. I took it off my phone. I mostly monitored occasionally and considered deleting my account. The pandemic has caused me to put (some of) those concerns aside for the time being, in the interest of being able to connect with our kids and grandkids.

Having a device dedicated to a video call is also a big plus.

The Portal is ready to go any time, that is after we face it away from the wall, and turn the camera and microphone back on. The Portal can also function as an Alexa, Pandora, Spotify, and more, but it might be nice if FB offered a cheaper version without such add-ons.

We also gave a Portal Mini to two of our kids to see what would happen. The results of our little experiment are beyond my wildest dreams. Our 13-year-old grandson sometimes calls his 3-year-old cousin to show off his latest computerized Lego creation. I had to wait to talk to the newly minted teenager on his birthday because he and his little cousin were busy breathing fire at each other with one of the special effects features. He and his sister have together read the little guy one of the embedded stories. She was the wolf in the modern little red riding hood and he was the narrator.

Our favorite part is when the 3-yr-old calls and asks, “Will you read me a story, Grandma and Grandpa?”

What’s not to love about that? Mom wants him to add a “please,” greet us first, and ask us how we are doing. So, we take care of those formalities and then get down to business! He would have us read ten stories if he could, but we read a few regular books and maybe one of the embedded stories and he is happy. We just have to be sure to let him know when we are nearing the end of the last book. Sometimes he’ll choose to “read” to us then.

Hand puppets and stuffed animals are fun as well. “Skype Bunny” recently got this little one to finish some water Mom wanted him to drink. Skype Bunny grabbed a cup and challenged him to see who could finish their drink the fastest. Without a word, he walked off-screen to retrieve his glass, climbed on the couch, and started sipping! So cute.

He sometimes gets out stuffed toys so our animals and puppets can chat. Other times we just watch him play with his toys. All his trucks and cars have names.

We now know all the words to a “Bob the Builder” song.

One day he was excited to just talk and sing the whole time. Then there are the times when our session devolves into each family hitting as many crazy effects as we can. Some change your voice and they sound like either munchkins or baritone players.

We don’t do this every day, but often enough to stay connected.

Sometimes Mom heads off to change baby brother’s diaper or grab some special time with the baby while big brother is otherwise occupied. (And sometimes we even get to talk to her!) Before the baby came, she occasionally got a little computer work done during our portal sessions. It’s nice to know we’re not only connecting with the grandkids but maybe helping out in some small way.

Of course, you can use any platform that both parties are comfortable with. The important part is to stay connected.

We recently had our first storytime lunch with two other grandkids, ages 5 and 7, using another video chat platform. These two are now being guided through their school day by their mom — one of those new amazing mom/teachers. We’ve scheduled another one for next week. I hope it continues. Mom was able to get a bit of a break — well, not really as lunch still had to be prepared and served, but at least the kids were occupied with their silly grandparents while waiting. To hear them both yell, more than once, “Another! Read another!” was beyond awesome.

My “Moments of Overwhelm” are fewer now, having settled into a daily routine of walks, working on my #CliFi thriller, writing with the London Writer’s Hour, and tending to my day job.

I still have a nagging worry about privacy issues with Facebook, not to mention its contribution to the unsettling times we find ourselves in. I’m open to alternatives.

In the meantime, it is providing a much-needed connection.

PS. After reading wonderful newer books, like Mother Bruce by Ryan T. Higgins, I’m feeling like Curious George needs to go back to the basement soon. (Some of the messages in these 1980’s era books are sorely lacking, but that is a topic for another time).

Barbara has been a telecommuting patent attorney since the dark ages of the internet in late 1994. Initially an employee of an out-of-state law firm, she also successfully operated her own law firm from home until 2019. Now, Of Counsel (the telecommuting kind), Barbara has more time to focus on other types of writing including picture books and public commentary poems. Her current work-in-progress is an adult climate fiction thriller, PIRATES OF ANTARCTICA. Barbara and her husband enjoy life in Iowa with their cats, dogs,c̶h̶i̶c̶k̶e̶n̶s̶, and one very old turkey. www.iowareflections.com @prairiewind46